Tobi's Puppy
by xMetallicBooger
Summary: Tobi is sent off on an errand and finds a new best friend! Chaos and hilarity ensues. Please R&R!


"**Tobi's Puppy"**

**Starring Tobi, a puppy, Pein, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Itachi, and Zetsu. **

**I think I might have seen another fic somewhere about Tobi and a puppy or something... But I didn't read it, because honestly... I thought it sounded completely lame. What makes mine any better? Probably nothing. But it is, somehow, so read it anyway.**

**For those of you who don't know Tobi... Look him up. I really suck at explaining things.**

Tobi wandered around a random unnamed village. He'd been sent out for some groceries, because no one else wanted to go, and even Tobi couldn't possibly screw up something so simple. Or so everyone thought.

Tobi had completely forgotten why he was here. He'd made a point of not forgetting what he'd come for, and he was determined not to get distracted. But then... He saw a lollipop. On the ground. Calling his name.

He'd been told many times not to pick things up he'd found on the ground, and even more times not to put those things in his mouth. But the lolli... It was swirly like his mask, but with every color of the rainbow. It glistened in the sun, and Tobi could never resist the temptation of a shiny object. He picked it up and shoved it under his mask and into his mouth.

_Mmmm... Tastes like bubblegum! And...Dirt. But...Mostly bubblegum. Mmmm._

So, Tobi continued to wander. He found himself in what was probably the village park, because it was grassier and full of flowers. He saw a pretty pink daisy-ish flower. It's middle part was bright orange, and...swirly. He gasped.

"It's a TOBI FLOWER!" and he picked it.

Just then, he heard something. It sounded like...a dog? Tobi hadn't really seen any animals in quite some time and he wondered if he was imagining it. But sure enough, a little yellow mutt came scampering over a hill. It had floppy ears and a wagging tail, and its little pink tongue hung slightly out of its mouth as it panted.

"Puppy!" Tobi squealed. In his excitement, he threw his arms out and unknowingly dropped the flower he was holding. Poor Tobi Flower.

The puppy yipped and ran over to where Tobi was crawling around on all fours, hoping to attract his new canine friend. He licked Tobi's mask and it was then Tobi decided that this puppy would be his forever and ever and ever.

But first, he looked around to make sure the puppy didn't belong to anyone. It wouldn't be nice to just take someone's dog. But it seemed he was alone, so he seized the dog and shoved him inside his cloak.

"Yay!" he exclaimed. "I made a new friend today. I'll name him... Waffles! I like waffles. Hear that, puppy?" He said as he looked down his cloak, "Your name is Waffles now, OK?" The puppy yipped his approval.

Somehow, even though Tobi could not remember why he had come, he could still remember exactly how to get back to the **Akatsuki Secret Hideout Lair of Evil and Stuff** (when it's in bold, you're supposed to imagine ominous music playing in the background). He walked in the entrance, where Leader-sama was waiting in the shadows, all mysterious-like, as he was prone to do.

"Tobi," He said, "Did you get that toilet paper we sent you for?"

"_EEP!"_ Inner Tobi said. "Well... Not exactly, Leader-sama! But...I...I did find this!" He held up Waffles the puppy.

"..._What _is that?"

"He's my new friend!"

"And where did he come from?"

"He..uh...Followed me home!"

"Tobi, you know you are not to bring outsiders to **The Lair**."

"Aw...But...I really, _really _like him! Can I please keep him?"

"Well...I suppose." For reasons unknown, the Leader was never quite as hard on Tobi as he would have been with anyone else.

"Hurray!" Tobi instinctively moved to hug the Leader, but then thought better of it and scurried off to the room he shared with his partner.

"Deidara-sempai! Lookit what I found in the village today!"

Deidara did not bother to look at Tobi and he called over his shoulder, "I don't care, un!"

"I named him Waffles!"

"Go away! ...Un."

Tobi wandered off down the hallway to the room where he figured Hidan would be, judging by all the painful screams and obscenities he heard.

"Hidan-sama! I made a new friend today!"

"GET LOST!" (Insert obscenities as desired.)

Tobi went to the next room and let himself inside. Kakuzu was sitting on his bed, papers scattered all around, and a calculator in his hand.

"Look, Kakuzu-sama! I found a puppy! Leader-sama said I could keep him."

Kakuzu's eyes widened. "Tobi!" he gasped, trying to keep from hyperventilating. "Do you have _any idea _how much it _COSTS_ to keep a pet? The food alone...And the shots...Having him neutered...What if he gets sick?! So...expensive...THINK OF THE MONEY!" Kakuzu went into some kind of strange, loss-of-money-induced seizure. Papers flew everywhere. Tobi grinned.

"I knew you'd be happy for me!"

Then, Waffles began to whine. Tobi, in an oddly Kiba-like fashion, said, "You wanna go outside, Waffles? OK, let's go!"

So, Tobi took Waffles outside where the dog took care of his "business." Tobi saw Kisame and Itachi heading his way.

"Itachi-sama! Kisame-sama! Look! Tobi found a puppy today! Waffles is a good boy, just like Tobi!"

"Oh, uh...That's nice, Tobi." Kisame said. Itachi said nothing. Instead, the half-blind Uchiha kept walking and stepped right on Waffles' tail. The puppy yelped. Itachi immediately snapped into Psychotic Killer-Mode.

"SASUKE! IS THAT YOU? FOOLISH LITTLE BROTHER!"

"Aw, crap," Kisame said, "I better go...do something about that. Before he wipes out a nearby village or something."

Tobi raised an eyebrow behind his mask. "Um...OK," he said, "Have fun!"

_Hmmm... I still haven't shown Zetsu-sama. He'll be so excited!_

He wandered off to the greenhouse where the poisonous plants were kept. Zetsu would most likely be in there, tending to his babies.

And of course, he was. "Zetsu-sama! Look what Tobi found today!"

"That's wonderful, Tobi. What's his name?"

"I named him Waffles, because I love waffles, and he's the same color as waffles, and... What was I talking about? Isn't he CUTE, Zetsu-sama? Leader-sama said I could keep him."

"Yes, he's very cute. Hmmm... He looks hungry. Why don't you go inside and I'll feed him for you?"

"Really? Thanks so much, Zetsu-sama! I'll be back later," And Tobi scampered away.

_OM NOM NOM NOM! _(this is generally accepted as Zetsu's eating noise, if ya didn't know)

Just then, the Leader appeared out of the shadows, as he often did. 'Cause he's creepy like that.

"Good job, Zetsu. I really hate things that are small, cute, and furry. I'm deathly allergic." He slipped Zetsu some money.

"Thank you, sir. But Tobi..."

"Tobi will have forgotten the whole thing by tomorrow. And if by some miracle he actually does remember... We'll just give him a lollipop or something."

"You're probably right, Leader-sama."

"That's why I'm **The Leader**." (Don't forget the ominous music!)

**And don't forget to REVIEW on your way out ;)**


End file.
